In case the Agent of my Dreams Stumbles upon this blog..

In case a bored, internet surfing literary agent stumbles on this blog thinking it was religious porn, I have left a sample query letter for my book THE BAD TIMES BIBLE. Enjoy. Oh, and don't feel weird about the porn thing. No one will ever know.


Dear Future Agent,

I’m seeking representation for THE BAD TIMES BIBLE, a 77,000- word book
written for, but not limited to, the young adult male audience. I see from
your website that you represent books in both the narrative non fiction, humour and memoir genres.  I see that you represent (author x y z) and feel my book is similar to their work but with more intense language and subject matter. That being said, I wonder if my book would be a good fit for your list.

What’s worse than being 21 and having to attend a day program on a mental
ward because you lost your shit at work? Finding out that you are not just
crazy, but you also have cancer.

In a world where bookstores are filled with sugary self help books that
lack the balls to say how it really is when cancer and mental illness
start kicking your ass, THE BAD TIMES BIBLE smashes down the doors of
political correctness to claim the title of… the ultimate field guide for
the young angry man in crisis.,

Filled with hard fought wisdom and delivered in a take no prisoners, make
no apologies tone, THE BAD TIMES BIBLE will comfort, inspire, shock and
amuse the reader with hilarious and horrifying insights into the world of
cancer and mental illness from a veteran who has lived to tell the tale…
and brought back a map.

This is the manual you want in your hands if you or someone you love hears
those eleven terrible words,

“I am sorry you are nuts, but you have cancer too...”

From dealing with your friends and family, to tales of awkward sex and bar
fights during treatment, THE BAD TIMES BIBLE is a brutally honest, raw and
funny look at how one young man searched his heart for answers to some of
life’s big questions while dealing with not one, but two of life’s
scariest situations, having cancer and mental illness… at the same time.



Thank you for your time and consideration. I would love the opportunity to send you some chapters.


Sincerely,

Peter MacKenzie Hammond

P.S. When I was a kid, the agent of my dreams was Jaclyn Smith from the tv show Charlie's Angels. I loved her with all my heart. A secret agent yes, but an agent non the less...