Thursday, 12 January 2012

Anxiety and the hell of writing Query letters...

I hate it.
I hate writing these query letters. It feels like the first time I ever asked a girl out. I look at examples online and I try and figure out what to say and how to say it just right. I keep thinking about that prospective agent and what they want.
Goddamn it all to hell and back in a dirty monkey's ass crack.
I am also intimidated by the fact that so many writers blog so much. "Build an online community and the agents will come looking for you."
Um, I understand that but I wrote a book for people to read and then they can come to the website/blog and we can start having some fun no?  I am a boots on the ground kind of person. Touring in my band showed me that you get real fans when they figure out who you are, look you in the eye, shake your hand, experience you as a REAL LIFE ENTITY!!!!
I don't know how many times I heard, "Wow! I loved your record but the live show blew my fucking tits off!" (from a dude btw) I love being out there meeting people and looking them in the eye. Thats why I want to build something like this
And get it fully wrapped with killer graphics promoting the Bad times Bible. Drive that bastard all over north america. Talk to people, have onboard cameras that feed back into a laptop that goes live to the website. AND BLOG ABOUT IT!! Promote discussion, gather intel,  get enough info for my second book AND have enough video content to do a dvd about the whole experience. A&E will be begging me to do a
And speaking of shows.. I promote the book with the songs and stories nights where it is part book reading, discussing, book tour type shit and part stand up/ rock show. Wherever I go I invite a local band, comedian, sword swallower to close the show. Basically get people together, tell stories, hear thier stories, have some laughs, have some moments, film everything, upload it all and next thing you know the Bad times Bible website is a vault of super cool shit..

But before all that can happen, I have to make someone believe in me.
Just one person who will call me on this and say,
"Alright asshole, lets see what you can do!"
Then I go show them what I can do.
But that won't happen till those damn query letters are written.
I just gotta think about that first date ever when I was a wee little bastard. I bought her a 45 of Simple Mind's "Don't forget about me" and held her hand in the mall. It was nice.

Gotta go write. I love you all.


  1. Ah, yes, the hard part of a writer's life - dealing with all the industry hoops.
    You can take it Pete.
    Battle on.

  2. This is easy stuff compared to many things.. just frustrating sometimes!