Sunday, 25 November 2012

Blown Away and Grateful...

I first want to start by saying that I'm sorry it has taken so long to write this thank you. I am sure you are all quite sick of this whole thing but I have to do this one last post about this madness so please bear with me...

I have started quite a few times and have found myself feeling very unhappy with what I have written. I wanted to put everyone's name in this post who has helped, donated, called, and made me feel like the luckiest person in the world. I realize that might make some people uncomfortable and that it would be a huge post. The list is long folks and it is overwhelming...

Some of you on that list are people that have been in my life for a long time, others are people who have only been in my life for a short while. Some of you are strangers who have reached out to me because you are friends with someone I know and some of you are people I have never met but hope to. You all have one thing in common and that is that you are amazing human beings...

The fundraiser was a blur to me.

Everyone knows I had a little too much to drink as my hangover post would confirm on Saturday. Or was it Sunday?... Regardless,  I am sure I embarrassed myself more than a few times that night as I talked to person after person, hugging friends, strangers and anyone I could. I drank to mask the feelings of embarrasment I was having. (and to numb the old body) Even though I have been performing music for a long time I really don't like this kind of attention. I love to be the guy who can help people out, get your asses moving on the dance floor and to be of service when the need presents itself. I don't like being the one in need of help. I don't think anyone does.

 That night was a testament to the choices I have made in my life regarding the people I have decided to call my friends. I have made many, many bad decisions in my life but the one thing I know for sure is that I have the most amazing friends in the world. I know how to pick 'em. For this I am grateful. I am also grateful to the incredible staff of the Legion who volunteered their space and staff to make the night the success it was. I am grateful to the bands who showed up and killed it all night long. Some of you are people I have shared the stage with and some of you showed up to help me out, out of the kindness of your hearts. I know it sucks to play for free unless it is for a cause, and I am blown away by how many of you stepped up to do so. I am grateful and blown away by the people who donated prizes for the night. It was crazy to hear my sister telling me everyday about the latest prize that had been offered. It all happened so fast!    

Speaking of gratitude, when I got hurt I was grateful that I wasn't killed or hurt beyond repair. As I have written before I only agreed to the fundraiser to help me get my book out, a project I have devoted many hours of my life to. I knew I would be okay one way or the other because even though I have fallen on my face a few times before I have always found a way through. Alot of that has to do with my family and friends and this time was no different.

My sister Tori is one of my personal heros.

She is constantly going out of her way to make so many people's lives better, often at her own expense. She takes on people's stress and problems and tries to make everything better for pretty much anyone she can. It is how we were raised and she is better at it than me. She KILLED herself to make this happen and I am a lucky man to have this amazing person in my life, let alone be able to call her my sister. I guess it makes all those times she kicked the shit outta me when we were kids worth it, but I will NEVER forgive her for kicking me in the balls and then sitting on me and holding my arms over my head... That was, and is, just wrong. :)

In all seriousness, my sister is a superhero and if you don't know her, you should get to know her. She is a blessing in the flesh. That sounded wrong and creepy, but you get it...

My brother in law Mick set the donation site up. He made sure that it ran smoothly and that my sister kept her shit together through this whole affair. He handled all things computer and he made sure I knew what was happening at all times. He did an amazing job and I am lucky to have that giant with a heart to match in my life too.

An unexpected gift that night was seeing my parents reacting to the love shown to me.

I have not been the easiest son to have as I have put my folks through quite a bit in my life. (just wait till my book comes poor mother..) But let me tell you that seeing my parents smiling, laughing and tearing up over the love and support for me was pretty amazing. That was a gift you all gave to my folks and it was freaking awesome. They are two of the most loving, incredible people on earth and they are the best thing that has ever happened to me. (without them, I wouldn't be here!) They were so overwhelmed by my friends and by all that was going on. Pat and Trudy were blown away and it was awesome and powerful to see. I thank you guys for giving my folks that gift. They won't ever forget it.

I also want to thank my girl Terri publicly for being a rock and an amazing partner. From the moment she got to the hospital she made me feel like I didn't need to worry, the situation was handled. She also gave me a sponge bath so I didn't have to lie in my own filth. If your partner is a blue collar worker, you know how gnarly THAT can be. She made me comfortable at home and took care of myself and all the animals too. She made sure I got to my appointments and did what I was supposed to. She wouldn't let me do anything but heal. Terri will be embarrassed by this, but well, too friggin bad! I love ya mama!

More people who will be embarrassed to be in this post are my buddies that took care of me the day of the accident. Ernie, Jean and James took action from the moment that limb smashed me and handled the situation like the professionals that they are. Jean called often and texted everyday making me laugh and making sure all was well in my world. James came by the farm alot, making sure that chores were done and that we were ok. He also kicked my ass at crazy eights... bastard! They are both fine men and I am lucky to call them friends.

 I have known Ernie since I was in diapers and he is my man wife. I said it! We are closer than white on rice. This whole thing was terribly hard on him from start to finish. He first thought I was dead and felt responsible, then he had to deal with the whole WSIB affair AND still get up everyday to go do the dangerous work that he does. That wasn't easy on him or his family and I am sorry that they had to go through this. But they were always there, every day, calling, coming by and making sure I was okay. If you ever need tree work done, call Ernie, (Trees Company) he is the man. But if you need a man wife, you are shit outta luck. He is mine.

The cards, the letters, the food, the donations.... My God...

I have read and re read these gifts of love many times. To those of you who reached out, thank you. It means alot to me to realize that I am surrounded by so many people who care, who made efforts to see me get back on my feet. It was an incredible thing to go through that made the broken bones an afterthought in my mind. Shit, even if I die tomorrow, I'll know I was loved by more than just my cats,  and THAT is a priceless gift people.

 So how do you properly thank people who have truly given you a massive opportunity?

  Well, the best I can come up with is to move forward with love and gratitude in my heart and live a life that is worthy of the love and support I have been shown. In short, I don't want to let you guys down, I want to put my book out and many more. I want to continue to help others as much as I can and to make a difference in the world. I know it sounds cheesy but that is what motivates me. The fact of the matter is, you guys have shown me that love is still the most powerful force on earth and the only thing worth having or giving away. I could go on and on about so many people who have made this a positive experience for me, but I fear you all may stone me to death.

In closing, I want to say that this experience has been nothing but positive. Even though I am still recovering, because of you all, I have healed faster than I thought I would, was more preoccupied with thoughts of gratitude towards an amazing group of people that make up the cast of my life. I am a lucky, grateful man with love in my heart for you all, and I look forward to doing the incredible things that your gifts have allowed me to do. The words on this page are plenty, but they still aren't enough. If you ever need me, call me. I look forward to somehow giving back to all of you, what you have given to me.

Thank you all. I am humbled by what you have done for me. I love every last one of you and I won't let you down. You have put me back on my feet and have lit a fire in my heart. Your love has hit me harder than any tree ever could... Thank you...

With all my love and gratitude,

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